Is it just me or is our policy missing the plot on parenthood?
Singapore's total fertility rate just hit 0.87.
One of the lowest in the world. And what was our response?
Budget 2026 rolled out several measures to ease cost concerns for parents:
- $500 Child LifeSG Credits per eligible child
- Enhanced pre-school subsidies
- Continued Large Families Scheme
- Strengthened Student Care Fee Assistance
Is it just me, or are we missing the plot?
It got me thinking, if all these measures aren't moving the needle, are they just white elephants?
What are the issues that will actually motivate people to have children? And while policy changes take years to bear fruit, what can people in their 25-35s do to prepare themselves for parenthood?
Here are my thoughts on 3 major issues: Housing, Quality of Parenthood, and Work Culture.
Housing
New houses are getting smaller. Gone are the days where a 5-room HDB could fit a kampong. Even condominiums are becoming shoebox-like.
The issue with small houses became apparent after 2021. Covid normalised working from home. Adults need more space, for work and for living. Housing policy clearly has not factored this in.
Simply put, will you find it easier to focus at an uncluttered home-office desk, or at your dining table?
Bigger space also means more room for imagination. How can that spare room be used?
For your child? For a helper? For your parents to stay over and help with the kids?
Space has not been designed with family planning in mind for many years.
Supply of HDB has been ramped up in recent years, and people are able to get their first home slightly faster. But even a 2-3 year lead time may be too slow.
For someone who went to university, boys graduate at 25 and girls at 23. From the time they feel ready to wed and get a house, they will usually be 30 when the keys arrive. Surely policymakers are aware that pregnancy chances decrease significantly with age.
One may argue that couples could stay with parents after childbirth. But consider this: working from home, living with two elderly parents, a child, maybe a helper, and a pile of diapers from Shopee because bulk buying is cheaper than NTUC. Is that a situation you want?
My last point on housing is distance. Further from the city centre, houses are arguably cheaper and bigger. But distance not only makes the heart grow fonder, it also makes our fatigue grow stronger.
Greater distance coupled with Return to Office meant increased commute and fatigue. Couples travel to and from work, and some travel to and from their parents' place too. Our connectivity may have improved over the years, but it fundamentally does not address the fatigue people face from commuting.
How romantic will a person feel after a long day of work?
Does it look like Fifty Shades of Grey, or another Conjuring sequel?
Quality of Parenthood – On Car Ownership
Budget 2026 also removed the ARF rebate for COE. Whether that is a pro-car ownership policy, I will leave it to you to decide.
Some people buy a car because it is their hobby and they can afford it. Others buy a car because they need it to make life liveable. They tried to fill the cracks of housing policy with their own means.
“Stay further away? Fine. I will get a car.”
Any reasonable Singaporean can accept that Singapore is a small country and we cannot have every household owning a car. Many people in their 20s and 30s are already shunning car ownership because the numbers do not add up.
But when a child comes along, a car is no longer a luxury. It’s a tool to make parenthood less painful and increase quality time
A car raises the quality of parenthood. For instance, it allows parent to forge a different memory with their child. They could bring their child to fly a kite at Marina Barrage along with all the “barang-barang”, something they may otherwise not do.
Is our policy supportive of parenthood car ownership?
Quality of parenthood - On Childcare
No parent wants to miss the first few years with their child. If money were no concern, childcare would be used for enrichment, not as a dumping ground.
It should be a place where children interact with peers for social development, not a place where parents drop off their kids so they can hustle from 9am to 7pm just to pay off the very fees that childcare costs.
Do children want to spend 12 hour in the day care?
Do parents want to be separated with their child 12 hour a day?
I’m not so sure.
I can’t speak for others, but for me.
I want to have kids because I want to share my joy with them. I want to spend quality time with them. Not just for the sake of having them. If I am struggling, why would I bring another soul into that struggle?
Work Culture
Some of us worked hard because we saw our parents struggle. We studied hard, we gave our best at work. Naturally, we ask: how will having a child affect everything I have built?
Female peers have shared concerns about career slowdown due to pregnancy. Inevitably, someone on maternity leave cannot output as much as someone working 365 days a year. Come performance ranking season, who gets ranked higher?
Beyond career progression, the pace of work is only getting faster with technology and AI. Do Singaporeans work less because of technology, or do we simply work faster and output more?
At the end of each workday, many Singaporeans barely have mental space for themselves, let alone a hobby, let alone the bandwidth to care for a newborn. When the baby arrives, everything else takes a backseat: health, finances, friendships.
So what is the solution?
Will extending maternity leave to 36 months work? Maybe.
Will allowing parents to buy a car without bearing the full cost of COE work? Maybe.
Will building 6-room HDBs and allocating them to young families work? Maybe.
All of these cost money. The question of funding is real.
But my point is this: our TFR is a symptom of collective policy gaps, not a standalone problem.
It is likely my views will not be heard. But if they are, I hope Singapore can be a place where I can make a living and also live a life.
What can we as individuals do?
In 13 years of working with people in their 20s and 30s who want kids, the clearest advice I can give is this: be prudent with your money.
Your 25-30s are the best window to save before family expenses kick in. Big outflows are coming. Travel, retirement dreams, ageing parents, and eventually children. You will have to prioritise and make choices.
If you are not prudent in your 25-30s, the next good savings window comes only in your late 40s to 50s.
Cheers to all parents. It is not easy, and your best is good enough.
~ Compounding what matters
